Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Perspective...


I've been ill. I'm sorry if you've been waiting on pics or waiting for an email or something from me, I feel like poo...no, poo on the bottom of a shoe is probably more correct. I could sleep for hours, days, weeks.

So I have those days of self doubt. Lots of it some days. I question why I'm doing what I do. Can I make it? Will I? Am I good? There's no doubt I love every minute of what I do, and everyday I walk into the door of the studio I pinch myself. But still theres that lingering self doubt. Where do we learn that from? Some days I'm better at shoving it away than others, but there it is, like a big fat elephant in the room. I haven't felt well for a couple of weeks, and this weekend it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I have been down for the count the past few days, but today I am feeling a bit better, like I'm coming back from the dead.

On monday, I managed to drag myself out of my funk long enough to do a NILMDTS session. It all puts things into perspective doesnt? Here I am, in my funk of self doubt and pity party and sickness, and there's this family experiencing the worst pain they will probably ever feel in their lives. And then inevitably I feel like a schmuck. Please say a prayer for Angel baby "C" and her family. :(